You can’t know where you are going, unless you know where you’ve been

Indulge.

My word of the summer.

And I owned it like I’ve never owned anything before. Indulge in food. Indulge in work. Indulge in alone time. Indulge in sight-seeing. Indulge in night life. Indulge in friends – lost and found.

I didn’t just eat Ethiopian food. I let my nostrils fill with the spicy smells and let the residue from the spongy bread soak into my fingers. I made it a feast. My friends joined me and we laughed as heartily as the food we devoured. At my internships, I listened. Even when I wasn’t being spoken to, I let my ears ring with the sound of the executives’ voices as they speculated about the direction the company going in. At the Broadway shows, I clapped hard to show my appreciation. I didn’t stop until my hands were throbbing and red with excitement. On the Brooklyn Bridge, I observed the city for what it is. I took note of every minute detail, every building, every speck of light. At dance class, I really felt the hardwood floor smacking under me. I danced with vigor and didn’t care that I could barely keep up with steps.

Throughout every one of my indulgences (some call it narcissistic, I call it a savory use of time), I was tirelessly passionate about nothing in particular but finding myself and what I want out of life.

Where does all this come from, you ask? Well, I was riding the subway and saw this staring directly at me, like an omen from God, helping me realize where I have been and what my role was:

"There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born there, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size, its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter - the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in search of something . . . Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness, natives give it solidity and continuity, but the settlers give it passion." -E. B. White, Here is New York

I, of course, am number 3.

I am relishing in every last second, hopelessly clinging on to the pulsating vibe exuding from the city like it’s life support, in hopes that I won’t wake up tomorrow and have to catch a plane back to reality. Maybe I don’t know where I am going and maybe that’s because I don’t know exactly where I’ve been. But I do know that I’ve done everything whole-heartedly and with passion. So if that’s any indication of anything, well then, I can’t wait to enjoy the ride.